Uncategorized

My sister got diagnosed with celiac disease three years ago, and she spent about six months being miserable about it. Not because of the health stuff – she actually felt way better once she cut out gluten – but because she thought her days of eating good Italian food were over. “I can’t have real…

My sister brought her seven-year-old to an Italian restaurant in North Beach last year, and it was a disaster. The kids menu had three options – all of them terrible. Chicken fingers that came from a freezer bag, mac and cheese that was neon orange, and spaghetti with butter that tasted like sadness. Her kid…

My roommate went vegetarian last year, and for the first month she complained constantly about Italian restaurants. “Everything good has meat in it,” she’d say. “The pasta has pancetta, the risotto has chicken stock, even the salad has anchovies.” Then we went to Soma Restaurant & Bar and she actually shut up about it. The…

My friend Dave went vegan two years ago after watching some documentary, and he spent the first six months eating basically the same three meals on repeat. When I asked why he didn’t go to restaurants anymore, he said, “What’s the point? I’ll just end up with pasta and tomato sauce while everyone else eats…

My friend Lisa dragged me to one of those “wine and dine specials” at a restaurant in the Marina last year. Three courses, three wine pairings, fixed price. Sounds great on paper. But the portions were tiny, the wines were clearly whatever they needed to move, and the whole thing felt like we were on…

My coworker Jake went to Milan for a work trip last summer and came back completely ruined for American coffee. He’d spent two weeks stopping at espresso bars three times a day, drinking tiny cups of perfectly pulled shots, and now he couldn’t even look at a Starbucks without getting annoyed. “It’s not the same,”…

My friend Sarah came back from Tuscany last year convinced she’d never find good Italian wine in San Francisco. She spent two weeks drinking Brunello in hillside vineyards and Vermentino by the coast, and she figured that was it – her Italian wine days were over until her next trip. Then she stopped by Soma…

My friend Rachel ordered gelato at this Italian place in North Beach last week. It came in a cup that looked promising – smooth and creamy on top. But one bite told the whole story. It was icy and grainy, not smooth. Full of air like regular ice cream. Tasted mostly like sugar with a…

My friend Lisa went to this Italian restaurant in the Marina looking for authentic dessert. The menu had three options – tiramisu, cannoli, and “Italian chocolate cake.” Nothing else. The tiramisu was clearly store-bought. The cannoli had been sitting in a case for hours. The chocolate cake was just chocolate cake with “Italian” in the…

My friend Tom ordered cannoli at this Italian place in North Beach last week. What came out were two sad tubes that looked like they’d been sitting in a display case since morning. The shells were soft and soggy instead of crispy. The filling tasted like sweetened ricotta from a tub mixed with mini chocolate…